Love, God
by PenPatronus
Summary: God writes a letter to Castiel during the events of "The Man Who Would Be King." Will he deliver it? Family, drama, tragedy.


**Summary:** God writes a letter to Castiel during the events of "The Man Who Would Be King." Will he deliver it? Family, drama, tragedy.

**Love, God  
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Dear Castiel, my son,

They call you Cass, now. I like that. Nicknames make one more… human. I remember when Dean and Sam started calling you that. I worried that you would find it inappropriate, disrespectful, unbecoming an angel. I waited to see if you would correct them. You didn't. You were going through a lot of changes at that time in your existence. As your identity changed, so did your name (or was it the other way around?). You recognized that a nickname was a sign of intimacy, of friendship. When I see you I'll call you Cass, too.

I remember creating everything. I remember creating that snowflake beneath your shoe and the galaxy eight billion light years above your vessel's head. I put the same time, energy and love into every grain of sand as I do with every angel and every soul. I remember the day I created you. I cradled your spirit in my palm and wove your wings together out of nothingness. I gave you your heart and you, unlike Lucifer, chose to give it back to me. I love you and you honor me.

Everyone is special. You are special. You might argue that if everyone is special then no one is, but you're wrong. You don't have the capability to understand how precious you are to me because you are not me. Angels are angels, men are men, demons are demons, I am God. Because of what you are you will never fully understand me. I hope that one day you'll find peace despite that.

You ask me for a sign, but I already gave you one. No, it's not neon with flashing lights. No, it's not a burning bush. While you seek words, maps, compasses, you neglect the fact that I give people signs by and through _other people_.

I gave you _Dean_, Castiel. He is a sign unto you as Jesus was a sign unto Man. You are Dean Winchester's guardian angel and he is your conscience. It wasn't set-in-stone destiny when your paths crossed but I put enough pieces into play that it would be a likely result. I'm glad you have the Winchesters and, believe me, they're glad they have you.

You claim to want free will. You've fought for it, killed for it, bled for it. But now you're practically asking me to take it away, to deny you it. You can't have free will if I tell you what to do. Castiel, my son, you can't have it both ways. You can't enjoy the positive results of free will without also enduring the negative consequences. You can't say that you want to lead your own life but then, when you're unsure of what to do, ask me to take the leash again. It doesn't work that way. The sun cannot be hot and _also_ cold.

Long ago, I made a difficult choice. Deciding to give my sons and daughters free will was like deciding to cripple my own arm. I didn't just give you free will, I _gave up mine_. I sacrificed my own ability to interfere so that you had the ability to choose. I have the will to help you but I'm limited, ironically, by you.

I know you, Castiel. I know you better than you know yourself. That passion you have, those emotions you feel, all of that was created by me. You took the foundations I laid and built yourself into a fine angel. And you are so valuable that I resurrected you. Twice. I don't do that for just anybody. I believe in you just like you believe in me. I have faith in you. I trust that your free will is pure and unselfish. I trust you to know what my will is and carry it out when I can't.

I've heard your cries and your curses. I had hoped that you would understand what I meant when Joshua told Sam and Dean that I didn't think preventing the Apocalypse was my problem. I meant, Castiel, that it's _yours_, that you had the ability to stop it, not me. I – with my limited will – couldn't interfere anymore than I did. I'm not apathetic, son. I'm not indifferent. I care about your suffering, about Dean and Sam's suffering and about the world. That's why I created angels and men like the Winchesters. I try to alleviate the world's suffering by sending angels into it.

I'm proud of you, Cass. You have good intentions. You have my blessings. But you're on – as they say – a slippery slope. You know perfectly well that it's not the path to Heaven that is paved with good intentions. I admire you for taking on whole hosts of Heaven just to protect Dean and Sam. I know that you want to avoid the Apocalypse. You want to prevent Rafael from causing it for a second time. But, son, you stopped it last time, so why couldn't you do it again? I know that you know right from wrong and Castiel, _the ends do not justify the means_. In trying to save the world you may end up damning it yourself.

Although you can't hear me, you do know my voice. My voice is in your heart and in the Bible. And it's speaking to you, right now, through Dean.

Listen to him.

Love, God.

**The End**


End file.
